In Part 1 I mentioned some general stuff you should go read. It is important stuff. Basically it said you have to spend time on the partner you are with without thought of satisfying yourself. Concentrate on their pleasure when using toys and you will benefit in the long run. Just do it and you will enjoy.

In this, the final part of this little series on pleasing her with toys, I will venture into a realm that many people consider taboo. Well, maybe some of the things that go on in the pursuit of pleasure through BDSM are taboo to many as there is a dark side to this adventure that only the most dedicated, some say sick, will attempt, let alone enjoy. I cannot talk about this aspect as I have not, and probably never will, experience that side. I have experience in some areas of BDSM that I know others will not try but there is so much more to it that I will not even think about trying. I will stick to what I know, which is kind of on the soft side.

BDSM, for those of you that may be wondering is short for Bondage Discipline Sadism Masochism, or something similar depending on who you ask. Piercing of body parts (did you see my article on piercing) is part of the Sadist aspect of BDSM. The use of silk ties, handcuffs and other restraints, among others are part of the Bondage aspect. The use of flogs belongs to the M in BDSM and being Dominated by your partner while he has you tied up to the bed frame can be considered the Discipline part (which many just call the Domination part).

Some of the toys used in the various aspects can include nipple clamps. This is a less permanent way to get pleasure from a little pain to those swelling, hard nipples while still enjoying the pleasure of pulling them and twisting them. The pain making your prick grow with anticipation of… whoop, there I go again. Nipple clamps come in many forms and can actually be used on other parts of the body. For her, the toy industry developed the fabulously exciting and useful Clit Clamps. These are used just as their name implies and can make the use of vibrators and dildos and such even more productive.

The types of nipple clamps usually fall into two categories. There are the screw-type clamps where you have an adjustment which screws in and out tightening or loosening the clamp while still provided the standard type of clamping action. Then there are the slide-type clamps. These resemble the old roach clips some of us use to employ to smoke stuff the officials said we should not. A circular ring slides up and down the forked clamp tightening the clamp and providing that glorious sensation you start to crave after your first experience. Many clamps of both types have a linking chain that will allow a little tug now and again that really can increase the fun. Some have weight attached to them for increased effect.

A little secret to the use of the nipple clamp is the sensitivity increase you have in your nipples once the clamp is removed. Oh, just a little flick or lick and your mind takes you places you really do want to go to.

When it comes to restraints, no matter what type you use, be it handcuffs, silk ties, leather harnesses with attached restraints, leather wrist or ankle restraints with chains, couches with built in ties or any of many other types available, they all perform the same function. A restraint is designed to limit your ability to respond or resist. True, many will allow you to thrash around in pleasure but most will not let you use your will to stop or change whatever is going to take place. This Bondage aspect of BDSM, as does the Sadism aspect, requires a trust between the participants (there may actually be more than two involved). Code words need to be understood so that if someone gets carried away or someone does not want to go beyond a certain point, the action is halted right away without argument or blame. You do not have to worry that this safety aspect will dampen the event as just the action of putting on restraints can cause enough of a feeling of helplessness that most participants will be excited enough from the start to make the adventure worthwhile.

There are so many ways to make use of bondage to create a memorable sexual adventure that you will have to use your own imagination to satisfy what you want. You even have to decide whether you want to do the binding or be bound. Both are fun but both require a different mindset. Personally, I think everyone should start out by using some 3 or 4 foot silk ties and have your partner secure your wrists and ankles to the four corners of a bed. Whether, you are face up or face down depends on what your partner is planning to do with you (and maybe a little of what you want your partner to do to you). You then must let your partner do what they wish. Everyone should experience that feeling of excited helplessness as maybe a dildo is manipulated into areas that deserve it, or maybe nipple clamps are applied, or maybe a butt plug is properly inserted and manipulated, or, well you get the idea from here on I think.

Another use for bondage is to allow for the Sadism aspect to be put into play. If you are bound then someone else is performing acts upon your body to make you and probably them excited. This is mild and safe form of sadism.

Flogging is a form of sadism that usually requires restraint of some form. Swipes across the back or ass or breast (even on the clit or balls in some cases) with soft leather flogs (many are dual purpose if you check the handles out carefully) can create a pleasure for the recipient and the flogger. Here too there is a darker side that can lead to serious pain and, if taken too far, can be damaging. Remember the Safe Words (the code to STOP agreed to by everyone involved before the action begins). Also, make sure you know your partner(s) before getting into any serious BDSM activities.

Well, there is much more to BDSM than I have room to write about here but the toys of BDSM, at least for the beginner and the casual participants, are easily used and do not require too much instruction. Once you use some of the toys of BSDM on yourself, you learn the extent to which you can go on yourself and the amount of pleasure/pain that you desire. This knowledge will help when it is your turn to use them on your partner.

Try it out and you will ENJOY!